Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
