Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
