apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
