I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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