So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
