yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
There's always time for handjobs
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
