oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
