I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Floor bacon is actually really good
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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