Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize