You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
