Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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