I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
