It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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