I got chris browned last night
I wish I could teleport
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
