If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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