my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
