i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
