Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
this hospital has no fireball
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
