Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Let's paint friendship bongs
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
