is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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