We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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