i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
