Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Randomize
