You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
