I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
