I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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