Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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