i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
