I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize