Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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