she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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