Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize