Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
