i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
