I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
