barbara walters just said penis...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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