I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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