she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Randomize
