Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
