Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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