hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
