Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize