...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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