yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
