dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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