but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize