69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
