You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
