I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
