does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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