His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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