found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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