I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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