Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
