This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
