We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize