I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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